Hadrian’s Lucky Phallus

For the first time this trip we got to empty our bikes of clothes and gear. The bike was so much lighter but Aimi and I still chose to ride with the panniers so we could go shopping later. After her little drop Aimi was a little more tentative this morning, but with some encouragement managed the hill start to get out of the AirBnB.

Riding without the weight was immediately noticeable. It was great fun swooping around and enjoying the acceleration. Especially the obviously Roman, straight road parallel to Hadrian’s Wall.

We were on our only full tourist day to Chesters Roman Fort and Clayton’s Museum. Here we enjoyed a very enthusiastic tour guide called Toby as he decanted history we ignored in school, but now thirstily drank up.

It was fascinating hearing about the different ruins and barracks and baths and the site. It was also very interesting to hear that having these ruins partially excavated is a controversial thing. The owner of the site at the turn of the century decided to excavate them and was not as fastidious about recording locations or moving things to how he thought they should be presented. These days the prevailing thought process runs that once excavated and examined, ruins should be covered over again to preserve them for future generations and better technology to be invented to extract more information. But we are just thankful to be able to experience part of the site and get hands on with a civilization from 2000 years ago. 

I couldn’t help but relate the genesis and fate of Hadrian’s wall to the economic conditions of the empire. It was built around 122CE when the Roman money was strong at 95-98% silver content. This was during the time of expansion and conquest. The wall was only built about 100 years after the great wall of china and so this contemporary way of dealing with borders and enemies may have been introduced to Rome by travellers from the east. 

Toby, our guide, explained that this was built as a permanent installation with the wall running the width of Britain, designed to have forts set back from the wall that would contain the garrison troops. However, he also explained that the Romans liked to change their minds and so later, parts of the wall were demolished to allow forts to be built into the wall, as part of it. We saw where the wall joined the fort and a gatehouse stood with huge gateways to allow passing traffic. This was not an impenetrable line in the sand, trade was permitted across the wall, but it was controlled. 

Within the fort we saw the barracks where the cavalry soldiers would sleep, 3 per room, with their horses and each of their slaves to tend the horses. It would have been very cosy, great for keeping warm in winter but I can’t imagine the smell! 

Also within the fort was the commander’s house. He would only have been here a few years, political, ambitious and working his way up the ladder of power, he was to be highly respected. If you were a soldier and ended up in front of him, it was either very good, or the last thing you did. And if it was a good thing, you might thank the phallus on the floor of the meeting hall. 

The commander had his own private bathhouse but behind that was the public bathhouse, down near the river Tyne. Water was brought in using aqueducts and then after flowing through the whole fort, out into the river. The Romans bathed every day and were very fastidious about not drinking water where other people had taken a dump. Apparently once the Romans had left, this thought did not occur to the British population for another 1400 years. 

Another interesting part of the fort was the later addition of a strong room beneath the temple. Still standing after an accidental excavation, it was discovered with its original door including the metal handle. Interestingly inside was found a few coins that were fake!

I find it incredibly fascinating that one of the factors that lead to the fall of Rome was the debasement of the currency. Nearing the end of the empire the once strong and pure coinage had been debased so heavily that coins were mear disks of worthless bronze with a silver wash. Rampant inflation from corruption, over extension of the empire and “printing” to pay for civil wars meant the soldiers were paid in kind rather than cash as shipments of money had stopped. 

I can’t help but find parallel between what they did to what’s going on now. The Romans took in high value coins, and then reminted them with a lower value metal to increase the quantity of coins. This let them spend more without needing to actually own any more silver and to start with, they were indistinguishable from the real high value coins for a while but eventually became noticeably worthless. The introduction of lower quality alloys was the removal of their “gold standard” and it’s what’s happened to our money. Now with excuses like the financial crisis, COVID and wars going on, let alone white elephant vanity infrastructure projects like HS2, we have printed so much money our currency has lost an incredible amount of value. 

Everything feels expensive. Prices have had to go up so rapidly that people’s income has not kept up. We are starting to see price fixing in the form of back door rent controls, just like the Romans did with their price ceilings for common goods. 

I don’t know who said something to the effect of… you can see the future by studying the past. But I really hope that with all the education, technology, communication and diplomacy in the world we can avoid a similar fate to that of the Roman Empire. 

But in other news….

Once we had gorged ourselves on Roman ruins, we followed Aimi out into the wilds of Northumberland for our final spirited riding of the holiday. She was already missing Scotland so headed north. 

We rode through the Kielder Forest up to Hawick to get some food for later before stopping at the Auld Cross Keys Inn for a late lunch. Here Aimi had the most amazing lamb shoulder, Adam had what looked like a great beef pie and Edd and I had a fantastic Nepalese curry, mine also with lamb. This was just what we needed and saw us all the way back to the barn. 

We were too tired for a hot tub tonight so we just ate nachos watching Toy Story 5 and then Terminator 2. I had way too many nachos, rum and coke, followed by a bag of Maltesers so I was feeling a little tummy tender in the morning. 

Our holiday ended like it started. A long boring motorway ride. However, this time we rode in daylight and the rain was much less intense. We managed to time a pitstop perfectly to avoid a deluge before completing our homeward journey. Waving goodbye to Edd and then Adam rounded off a fantastic Scottish motorbike trip. 

I’m already looking forward to the next one.