Trashy Blonde In Glencoe Woods

One of the major advantages of using an uplift service is that you haven’t had to spend 80% of your day pumping uphill – obviously. The not so obvious but really enjoyable side effect of this is that your butt hasn’t been pounded to death by an uncomfortable saddle. I’m not sure why MTB saddles have to be so uncomfortable but the day after a ride, my butt is usually so sore, I can’t look at a bike again. 

Butt today is feeling good! 

We slowly rose and had breakfast in the sun before breaking camp. The haggis I had bought turned to meaty mush in the frying pan, so I added eggs to make an omelette. That’s when the gas ran out… thinking about it, its been over 2 years since I had a new gas can, so it’s done well. Tim let me finish off cooking the breakfast on his stove before we packed up and shipped out.

We were staying near Kinlochleven and chose to take the long route back to Glencoe, driving slowly to enjoy the views. We were like the top gear trio – Adam in his flashy big power Jaguar as Jeremy – Tim in his sports SUV with lots of camping gear as Hammond – and Me bringing up the rear in a very practical but slow van as James. We built up a bit of a tail of traffic because Adam was driving slow. Eventually we got to the end and I panicked when I saw them turning left. I got Aimi to shout down the radio to turn RIGHT. Then realised as soon as Adam had made the turn, that it was LEFT we needed to go! I dunno why, but I thought we were headed back to Fort William so created some chaos while my brain caught up!

Sitting by the loch in Glencoe the sun was beaming down and I knew that before long I’d be getting burnt, even with sun cream. So I embraced being my father’s son, and got my umbrella out to create some shade. I had the piss taken out of me good naturedly for 5 mins till Adam went and sat in the car because it was too hot! 

We made ourselves comfortable in the rental house and soon enough the rest of the gang turned up. They were super pumped to be in Scotland and keen to get out on the bikes so we headed for some local routes.

Unsurprisingly, the route up was Very Steep™ with a huge cloud of midges at the top to make it extra miserable. But the ride down again was AWESOME and very well worth it. It was steep but well used, dry and grippy (even for roots). It was like a much longer version of Oakamoor, with technical twists and turns between trees, rooty tracks and occasional rocks for variety. It was so good I even went up again for another go, despite the climb. Finishing on Trashy Blonde we headed back to the house for lots of pizza and beer.